Tup hangover fic
by TonksontheTardis
Summary: Taz and Up get drunk and wake up together. Chaos ensues.


Taz awoke in a strange bed with a pounding headache. She slowly came to a realization that someone's arms were wrapped around her waist. She jumped, waking the person. It was Commander Up and he wasn't wearing a shirt. She checked her own clothing to see that her clothes were still on. Up groggily woke up and looked startled to find Taz staring at him. He muttered, "What the hell happened last night? I mean, we only had a few drinks, right?" Clearly, this wasn't the case. Taz stumbled groggily towards the restroom, but she tripped over a hedgehog. Just sitting there. On the floor of Up's bedroom. It hurt. She jumped around, holding her foot in pain. "WHY DE HELL IS THERE A DEAD GOD DAMN HEDGEHOG ON THE FLOOR?" Taz shrieked. Up leapt to end of the bed and stared at the hedgehog on the floor. "Taz! It has a name tag!" Up said. Taz gingerly poked the name tag. It read  
>'Billy<br>Owner:"

And the next part was horribly scratched and Taz couldn't begin to attempt to read it. "Well, let's find somewhere to put it so no one else steps on it." They combed the room and found only a trash can to put Billy in. Now, how to get him in the trashcan was the real question. Up grabbed a net from the fishing supplies and Taz grabbed a baseball bat. Billy sat there, mocking them. Up poked his back with the net, but Billy refused to budge. Then, Billy started to run.

Up handed two sides of the net to Taz quickly and they ran and caught Billy in the net. They slid him into the bucket. They sat down wearily on the floor. "Must. Have. Coffee." Taz mumbled, her head pounding. They stumbled to the kitchen. On the way, Taz looked over at Up. It finally sunk in that he was shirtless. She looked at his chest and lost her breath for a moment. His chest was...nice. How had she never notices how...erm...muscular he was? She shook her head and figured that it was just the hangover making her head fuzzy. Up stumbled behind her to the kitchen, but Taz stopped short in front of him, mouth gaping. There were at least 50 more hedgehogs sitting on every surface in the kitchen. They groaned simultaneously.

"You know," Taz said casually "I do NOT want to know what we did last night..."  
>"Agreed. But I do kind of want to know one thing: Why hedgehogs? I mean, we pick the most prickly creature? Why couldn't it be bunnies or something? Something easy to catch and fluffy." Taz raised her eyebrows and looked at him<br>"Bunnies? Really?" she questioned.  
>"Yes." he said. "Bunnies would be better." Taz nodded in agreement. Suddenly they heard a shriek from February's room. Temporarily abandoning the hedgehogs, they sprinted next door. They burst through the unlocked door and found February holding her clothes up to herself and Bug waking up groggily. Neither of them seemed to be wearing any clothes. Taz and Up averted their eyes.<br>"February! What de hell happened to you?" Taz asked, looking worried.  
>"Look at this! Look!" she exclaimed, thrusting her left hand at Taz. On her ring finger was a wedding band. "I don't like remember what happened last night, but it seems that BUG AND I GOT MARRIED." February shrieked hysterically.<br>"Well, February, there are about 50 hedgehogs in my kitchen." Up stated.  
>"Like, real hedgehogs?"<br>"Yup. Damn pokey things. Hate 'em so much." Up muttered. February looked confused, but shook it off quickly. She said, "Taz. Come with me to the records room. We can see if I'm married there. Up, you and Bug can try and get rid of the hedgehogs." Bug and Up exchanged a glance and sighed. February grabbed Taz by the wrist and drug her away.

Taz and February jogged to the records room. They sat down at one of the information machines. They accessed the marriage records using Taz's lieutenant password. They clicked on 'Recent Marriages' and closed their eyes, hoping for the best. The most recent marriage listed was 'February James and Bug Bugsmith. Officiated by Commander Up.' February and Taz stared blankly at the screen.  
>Suddenly, February marched up to the woman sitting at the information desk.<br>"Miss? Can you tell me if there's like a way to get un-married?"  
>"You mean a divorce." she said flatly.<br>"Yeah, that."  
>"You do know that those are highly frowned upon in the Ranger society? You'll probably be kicked off of the Rangers." the woman (who's name tag read Barbara) stated grimly. "Any particular reason? I can get you two counseling if you wish."<br>"No, apparently we got married when we were drunk last night." February said sadly.  
>"Are you two a couple?"<br>"Yeah."

"Well, that's not too bad is it? I mean, it could be to a complete stranger." Barbara said sympathetically. "Well, there's not much we can do for a situation. I suggest you go tell him. Good luck, darling. I think you'll need it." February nodded and motioned to Taz to follow her. They went back to Up's room to see Up and Bug standing back-to-back on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Up had the net and Bug had the baseball bat. They looked completely terrified. They had the trashcan with Billy in it next to them.  
>"Dead God damn hedgehogs..." Up muttered. Taz tried to contain a laugh. She couldn't help it; they looked so hilarious perched up there looking like little girls. Not to mention the fact that Up was shirtless, which made the whole scene even more random.<p>

"Taz! February! Get up here! The hedgehogs are after us!" Bug whispered hysterically. Taz stuffed her fist into her mouth to keep from laughing. "No seriously! I'm not kidding! These things are pure evil, Taz!" This statement caused Taz to lose control. She leaned up against the barstool and clutched her sides. They hurt from laughing so hard. Taz's infectious, and rather surprising, giggle was infectious and soon everyone was laughing except Bug, who looked rather irritated. February leaned close to Taz and whispered in her ear, "He doesn't take hangovers too well." They both collapsed into silent giggles.  
>"Uh...maybe we should call the guys down at the main office and see what they think we should do..." Up said.<br>"But Up... That would...lead to...awkward questions..." Taz said between laughs.  
>"Does it matter? As long as we get these dead God damn hedgehogs out of my room, I could care less." Up said, cracking a smile. <p>


End file.
